Things didn't get a whole lot better last night, as the Red and Black fell to the Hornets 88-75 at the Rose Garden. Both Zach and Darius had good games, scoring 23 and 22 respectively, but no one else had much to offer. The Blazers shot a ludicrous 41.1% from the free throw line, which has to be the equivalent of closing your eyes and throwing the ball in the general direction of the basket. They also got out-rebounded 46 to 33. On the bright side, the Blazers did shoot a higher field goal percentage than the Hornets, so feel free to revel in the streets over that tidbit.

The hits keep coming tonight, as the Blazers take on newly acquired Brian Skinner's old employer, the Sacramento Kings. The line is Sacto -13.5, but the over/under I'm interested in is how many points will ex-Blazer Sergei Monia score tonight. I'm sure Bonzi can give him a few pointers regarding sticking it to your old team.

Indiana is a pretty good test. They aren't the Indiana everyone thought they'd be - they're underachieving quite a bit, given the Artest Fiasco.

But that doesn't mean the Pacers aren't trouble - look at what they did to Golden State a couple days ago. Giving this team an early lead is like giving them a can of spinach - you've absolutely got to get out ahead and try to hold them off.

I'm pretty glad Donnie Walsh and Larry Bird haven't found a taker for Artest - I've been personally tormented over the question of whether I'd want him in Sacramento. When we're losing bad and looking horrible, I think, "Yeah, what do we have to lose? At least he'll be interesting."

But when our offense is playing well, when we're getting the stops we need to win games, I'm less excited. I like having a team full of sane, if not elite players. It lets me sleep at night.

Someone is going to take him, though, and I kind of hope it's not someone in the division. The Lakers with Artest is frightening. I'd be relegated to praying for Ron-Ron to go Hannibal Lector on Kobe. I wouldn't be horribly concerned if the Warriors got him - they couldn't get that motley crew together in time to make it matter. The Clippers become a lot better, even if they move Corey Maggette, because a lock-up defender is the one thing they lack.

Minnesota seems like a no-brainer; Denver is so crazy about Artest that you'd think they could make it work. If I were the Pacers, I'd give Ron-Ron his wish and work out something with the Knicks. Artest deserves nothing less than to play for the hardest coach on a horrible team in front of his people, who will no doubt refuse to put up with his crazy Hoboken bullshit.

(Can I get into a witness protection program now? Please?)

To the early morning lineups!

INDIANA
PG - Jamaal Tinsley? I really need to brush up on my Indiana Pacers.
SG - Stephen Jackson, former World Championship/Atlanta Hawk
SF - Danny Granger, heralded rookie
PF - Jermaine O'Neal, superstar
C  - Jeff Foster? Again, I need to brush up.

SACTOWN
PG - Mike "Still Not An All-Star?" Bibby.
SG - Kevin "Star of the Frosh-Soph Game During All-Star Break" Martin.
SF - Peja "Three-point champion" Stojakovic.
PF - Kenny "Ha ha" Thomas.
C  - Brad "Perennial All-Star" Miller.

The line: It's not up yet on Bodog, so I'm going to throw out a +2. And no, I wouldn't bet either way. Maybe an under, if the line is somewhere around 192.

Fun bet o' the night: How vehemently will Grant Napear argue against bringing Ron Artest to SAC? Your choices are a) more vehemently than his assertation that Bonzi did not call out Peja, b) more vehemently than his assertation that Bonzi did not call out Peja, or c) equally vehemently than his assertation that Bonzi did not call out Peja?

Sideshow most likely to be entertaining: Peja Stojakovic, rebounding beast. For what it's worth, Peja was very self-deprecating in talking about his 13 boards after Friday's game. He actually seemed human, as quoted by Sam Amick. But hell, he has seemed a lot more active in all aspects of the game since his last injury. Maybe something snapped inside him? Who knows.

Best matchup: Kings offense vs. Pacers defense. Can they throw up 60 in the first half and shoot over 50 percent from the field? Can Bibby get to his spots at will? Can Brad Miller explode into flames? Will KMart and Peja be able to attack the offensive glass like they did against LAC? If so, this (and probably every game) is a win.

6 p.m. start on Comcast. Watch some football, settle in for hoops. It's on!

Losing to four last-place teams before New Year's is bad. Remember, the Knicks were in the Atlantic cellar at 0-5 when they came in and stomped the Kings at ARCO. So were the Southwest Division's Rockets. We lost a tight one in Charlotte (last place in the Southeast) a week prior to last night's embarassment against Portland (last place in the Northwest).

The only division whose last place team we haven't lost to is the Central. The key there? We haven't played last-place Chicago (who would likely be the best team in the Atlantic and second-best team in the Southeast). Don't fret - we are 0-3 against the Central, though.

The elusive sixth last-place team in the league has beaten Sacramento pretty consistently throughout the season, because the sixth last-place team is Sacramento.

Monday night was one of those games - stupid little turnovers, a lack of defensive effort from most of the team, a failure in execution. The fact that the highest Game Score on the team was a 15.1 illustrates that rather clearly.

Price, Garcia and Skinner were the only Kings that showed any sort of energy outside Quarter 1, though Shareef had his moments. Bibby was ice cold. And when Bibby's ice cold, he's just a waste of a player out there.

Peja, whose back injury I'm convinced was a setup, was red hot early but cooled off considerably as the game went on. Again, if he's not shooting well, he adds little (though he's much better defensively than Bibby).

Brad was hitting the boards well - he finished with 12 overall. But he wasn't sneaking any passes inside, he wasn't springing Bibby free and he wasn't getting a lot of really open looks (despite shooting 5-10).

Shareef was consistent ole Shareef - 8-15, 18 points, 2 blocks, mostly acceptable defense on ZBo (who can apparentlyt hit the 18-footer now). You'd like to see Reef get some more rebounds, especially on this poor rebounding team. But beggars can't be choosers.

Price is quickly making Jason Hart irrelevant. Actually, The Hitman - whose acquisition I absolutely loved this offseason - is making The Hitman irrelevant. I think his problem is that he's a slave to Adelman's system when the bench certainly doesn't have those parts. He needs to just play point guard when he's out there. Find an open man. Take open shots. Just play, Jason.

That said, I think Price is our best defensive guard right now, along with being explosive on offense. He had a couple of sure assists go astray because teammates just didn't know they were coming last night (including the drop-off to Reef for what should've been an easy dunk).

Kevin Martin, one of my favorite players, has been beyond disappointing in his two starts. He seemed to take on the laissez-faire attitude of the starters when we all hoped he would bring some fire and explosiveness to the floor. Lazy passes, no motion away from the ball, nothing. He's actually like a faster Peja out there, and one who can't hit a jumper. It's further magnified because Bonzi was so busy in the starting lineup - it was pretty clear last night how much this team misses that.

(And what about the f'n Kingsblogger? What the hell was that starting lineup? Two out five right on Portland and four out of five on the team he covers? What a lout. Game Score for TZ? -5.0. Fire TZ! Fire TZ!)

More than anything, this drifting cause needs a kick in the groin. (NOTE: We're not talking about TZ anymore. Thanks.) Be it trade or firing, it needs to be done. I can't imagine there will too many more losses to last-place teams - or first-place teams, like the one the Kings are visiting tonight - before the axe falls on someone.

I like Bonzi Wells. He hits three-pointers from the corner to win games on the road.

Also, I like Shareef Abdur-Rahim. He plays balls out in the fourth quarter and makes former MVPs take bad baseline jumpers in critical possessions.

Ahh... the sweet taste of prolonged victory.

Speaking of jersey sales, I don't know many people lining up to get their Nenad Krstic #12. But if they'd just stick his first name on the back - Nene style - they'd get some buyers. What a fun name. Nenad. Say it. Nenad.

(And my gay jokes and genital jokes are officially over. You may proceed.)

Vinsanity (imagine how tasteless that nickname will be once the guy gets Alzheimer's) may not play tonight; he apparently strained something or other against the Warriors Tuesday.

My guess is that he just wanted to watch Lindsay Lohan on the American Music Awards. I'm also guessing that he's not a fan of "Two and a Half Men," so he'll probably show up at ARCO tonight.

Peja's status is also apparently up in the air. I'm not listening to 1140, though, so who the hell knows. I need a source deep within the Kings trainer's office. Anyone reading?

Anyways, here's my best guess at tonight's starting lineups:

THE FLYING NENADS
PG - That Jason Kidd guy.
SG - Vince Carter. Or not.
SF - Dick Jefferson
PF - Not Shareef Abdur-Rahim. Ha ha.
C  - Nenad.

SACRAMENTO
PG - Mike "Justify My Thug" Bibby
SG - Bonzi "Lucifer" Wells
SF - Peja "Change Clothes" Stojakovic. Or not.
PF - I've got 99 Problems, but Shareef ain't one.
C  - Brad's got some dirt on his pickup, could you wash it off for him?

The line: ESPN says -5. I think I'd take that, if I knew Peja was going to play. But I don't, so I won't. (Have I advocated betting on the Kings once this season? I don't think so.)

Fun bet o' the night: Francisco Garcia minutes played, should Peja get the OK (from his little finger) to start. I say take the under at 12.

Sideshow most likely to be entertaining: Brad Miller, who had better be upset over his Monday performance, abusing the Nets D. Angry Brad is awesome!

Best matchup: Shareef vs. The Jason Collins Experience. Oh yes.

Grant Napear, in brief and in advance: "That's why Geoff Petrie is the best in the league, alright? Right there, Shareef Abdur-Rahim. What did Rod Thorn get? He got Marc Jackson. Geoff Petrie is the best in the league."

Forgotten note from previous Spurs game recaps: Impersonating Grant reminded me of the vomit-inducing moment of Monday's game: Jerry Reynolds and Grant Napear discussing how Robert Horry stole a championship ring from them. JR is one thing - he's an executive or some sort, he probably deserves a ring. But Grant? The play-by-play guy and a local radio host? He would've gotten a ring? That sickens me.

Well, wait: Do I get a ring if the Kings win it all? I am an unofficial blogger after all. If I have to battle Alex Carnavale for it, I will! Dammit.

Enjoy the game. I might get an update in early Thursday morning, though one might not want to hold one's breath. Not that one would hold one's breath or anything.

Let's go Sha-, err Kings! A winning percentage above .400 awaits!

Speaking of suits, here are my extended thoughts about Monday's game:

• I vomited in the second quarter, and it wasn't due to the Kings performance. It was the performance of the Comcast technicians: For about 10 minutes, the feed was shaky and fuzzy and dim. I had a Blair Witch flashback. Couldn't get Dramamine fast enough.

• I know this was said a lot in the 2004 playoffs when Tony Parker was running circles around the Lakers, but would it kill someone to just lay the lumber on him when he drives to the baseline and floats there, looking for a open man? He's French - he'll seriously think twice about it once pummelled (unless he knows he has big, powerful allies coming over). I might be more annoyed by TeePee than I am by Balki. Good grief, what an annoying team.

• Gregg Popovich: The mullet will not get you extra Coach of the Year votes. There's a reason the NHL in the #5 major league.

• Not sure I understand why Shareef got a technical. But he didn't seem to mind. I did understand why Bonzi got a technical, and he did seem to mind. Shows how much I know.

• Either Kenny Thomas has a really good relationship with Francisco Garcia where he feels comfortable enough to yell at him about coming to double Tim Duncan (and fouling him), or Kenny Thomas is a very self-assured defender.

• Of all the disappointments on this team so far, Brian Skinner has been the biggest. He's not doing anything but taking up space when on the floor. Truly discouraging after a mammoth preseason filled with jumpers, blocks and putbacks. We need that Brian Skinner.

• Fabricio Oberto: Funny-looking from a distance, rockstar lookalike from up close.

• It's amazing that Pop took Duncan out when he got his fifth foul. Pop knows as well as everyone that no ref is going to a sixth foul against Tim Duncan in a close game.

• The league is going to figure out Manu Ginobili one of these days, as if he was Barry Zito. He's flashy, but he can be stopped.

• Peja can do better on the suit. Remember, P, you're an upcoming free agent! You gotta look money, all the time.

f the Monday night Packers-Vikings game. Also, I really have no idea what to make of Simmons' shoes in said segment. Especially after seeing him rocking shell-toe Adidas in the NY Times piece.

Last Simmons item: The controversy over Renee Herlocker is stupid, and the Intern is a jerk for not giving a link to YAYsports!, even after admitting someone had already made her (semi-)famous. It shows a certain out-of-touchness.

Another sign fantasy sports are inherently evil: I've been openly rooting for Kobe to score 40 a night. Yes, that Kobe. I'm going to hell.

Nice shootout between Gonzaga and Michigan State last night. Adam Morrison is like Kyle Korver with driving ability. I turned it on near the end of regulation. Tom Izzo really takes the fun out of Hawaiian shirts, no?

Back later with an awesomely robust game preview.

STARTING LINEUPS:
NEW YORK
PG - Stephon "The Untradeable" Marbury
SG - Quentin "The Recently Traded" Richardson
SF - Matt "Damn, I Wish He Was Backing Up Peja Like Old Times" Barnes
PF - Antonio "Haven't I Played With Half of You Guys Before?" Davis
C  - Eddy "Takes A Licking But Keeps On... Oh Wait" Curry

SACRAMENTO
PG - Michael Bibby, The Pride of Cherry Hill, New Jersey
SG - Gawen Deangelo Wells
SF - The Belgrade Bomber
PF - Julius Shareef Abdur-Rahim
C  - Bradley Alan Miller

(Bonzi, I'm sorry. Please don't destroy me.)

The line: -7.5. Again, I'd be reluctant to bet on the Kings until they put, you know, like two solid games in a row together.

Fun bet o' the night: Matt Barnes stops against Peja - remember, Barnesy went up against Peja in practice who knows how many times. Also, Peja is kinda easy to figure out - force him to step to his right. Peja needs to get some excellent screens. I predict 16 points for The Belgrade Bomber.

Sideshow most likely to be entertaining: Stephon Marbury versus Larry Brown. There's comedy, there's high comedy, and then there's paying a ridiculous sum of money for an egomaniacal coach who always clashes with his star player if they don't show the fundamentals of "playing the right way" on ever play, especially when your team's superstar has never played the right way by any stretch of the imagination. Throw in that superstar having a pretty much untradeable contract (which is redundant when talking about the Knicks) and the coach having a long-term deal. Also, your general manager is one of the three worst in the Association. And ACTION!

Matchup to watch: Larry Brown vs. Rick Adelman. Remember, some of you Kings fans wanted a coach like LB this offseason instead of Adelmania. Fools, all of you. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that LB has only won ONE NBA title - you'd swear he was the second coming of Red Auerbach or something.

The verdict: Kings by 12. Bibby gets 20+, Shareef is the model of consistency and Barnesy has a ridiculous game.

I know it's early (it almost always will be on Sundays), but um, let's go Kings! The middle of the pack awaits!