Things didn't get a whole lot better last night, as the Red and Black fell to the Hornets 88-75 at the Rose Garden. Both Zach and Darius had good games, scoring 23 and 22 respectively, but no one else had much to offer. The Blazers shot a ludicrous 41.1% from the free throw line, which has to be the equivalent of closing your eyes and throwing the ball in the general direction of the basket. They also got out-rebounded 46 to 33. On the bright side, the Blazers did shoot a higher field goal percentage than the Hornets, so feel free to revel in the streets over that tidbit.

The hits keep coming tonight, as the Blazers take on newly acquired Brian Skinner's old employer, the Sacramento Kings. The line is Sacto -13.5, but the over/under I'm interested in is how many points will ex-Blazer Sergei Monia score tonight. I'm sure Bonzi can give him a few pointers regarding sticking it to your old team.

"This might be my last one. Thought I'd go out with a bang. This is it. I mean, let me be free. They need to trade me for a big man. This has gotta be my last game. I know the trading deadline is tomorrow and nothing against the fans of Portland, but I just want to be happy. Hopefully, things go right for me. I just want to start my career over."

The move also reunites Ruben with his old Cincinnati partner in crime Kenyon Martin. No word yet on whether or not Bob Huggins is sober enough to be brought on as an assistant coach, but Karl is definitely going to need someone around to dole out hush money to the scores of traumatized Denver residents whom Rube and K-Mart will undoubtedly leave in their wake.

So Denver gets some defense, Seattle gets a back-up PG with a hella long contract and a decrepit Byron Russell, and Portland gets a back-up PF/C and a little cap room, and one less Ruben Patterson. Wrap it up; I'll take it. So long Ruben, don't forget to register when you get to Colorado, you scum bag.

Update: It seems as if I spoke too soon. Rumor is the deal now has Brian Skinner coming to the Blazers from Sacto instead of Vitaly, in exchange for Sergei. Potepenko supposedly is off to the Kings, and the Blazers are still getting Lenard. I liked the first version a lot better. Skinner makes too damn much. This still hasn't been finalized, so who knows what it will look like when everything shakes out.

The Kings have acquired Vitaly Potapenko and Sergei Monia for Brian Skinner in a deadline-day trade, various sources are reporting.

As for Skindog, the first of the Philly Three to be peddled: We'll miss ya, dude. Not in a Bobby Jackson, Chris Webber way. Hell, not even in a Maurice Evans, Eddie House way. But we'll miss you. Your block on Marion in Albuquerque was the highlight of the 2005-06 preseason. Thank you.

Now, on the the new parts. Here is the only sentence I should have to post on Vitaly Potapenko to give you an idea of who he is: Seattle coach Bob Hill benched the Ukraine Train for being overweight and out of shape. Flashbacks, anyone?

That said, Pomme-Frites (yes, that is our first attempt at dubbing Vitaly) is damn near a 7-footer, so we have a tall guy not named Jamal Sampson we can actually stick in for Brad. (Skindog was 6'9 in heels.) VP is making $3 million this year, and will make $3.3 million next season. After that, the contract is over.

Now about this Sergei Monia fellow. You want to know how hard it is to find information on him? I'm not even sure his name is spelled "Sergei Monia." Sports Illustrated spells it "Sergei Monya," and HoopsHype calls him "Sergey Monya." He's a Russian rookie, seeing very limited in Portland. A profile on NBADraft.net said Sergei "hs a nice midrange jumper and is a solid 3pt shooter, but his best attribute is his team defense, he knows how to help teamates and he's a pretty good one on one defender too." The stats say differently, as Sergei's FG% is around 37% for the season. He has, however, been trapped on the bench of a cruddy Portland team.

No word on whether he and now-estranged Russian Blazer buddy Viktor Khryapa had a Franchise-Cuttino relationship that could lead to some issues.

I don't expect either newbie to make a major difference immediately - I mean, has Skinner been making a difference? Sergei is a bit younger than Kevin Martin and Francisco Garcia and much more raw (it would seem), so I don't anticipate him affecting their PT any. Monia seems like a solid Petrie chip, though.

Pomme-Frites could get some minutes in relief of Brad, though he is actually allergic to the ball on offense. Some blocks and a decent rebound percentage when he's in is all we should hope for.

(he most disturbing part of all this is that if someone asked me which NBA player I most resemble, I'd probably have to say Sergei Monia. Except less Russian looking.)

Speaking of suits, here are my extended thoughts about Monday's game:

• I vomited in the second quarter, and it wasn't due to the Kings performance. It was the performance of the Comcast technicians: For about 10 minutes, the feed was shaky and fuzzy and dim. I had a Blair Witch flashback. Couldn't get Dramamine fast enough.

• I know this was said a lot in the 2004 playoffs when Tony Parker was running circles around the Lakers, but would it kill someone to just lay the lumber on him when he drives to the baseline and floats there, looking for a open man? He's French - he'll seriously think twice about it once pummelled (unless he knows he has big, powerful allies coming over). I might be more annoyed by TeePee than I am by Balki. Good grief, what an annoying team.

• Gregg Popovich: The mullet will not get you extra Coach of the Year votes. There's a reason the NHL in the #5 major league.

• Not sure I understand why Shareef got a technical. But he didn't seem to mind. I did understand why Bonzi got a technical, and he did seem to mind. Shows how much I know.

• Either Kenny Thomas has a really good relationship with Francisco Garcia where he feels comfortable enough to yell at him about coming to double Tim Duncan (and fouling him), or Kenny Thomas is a very self-assured defender.

• Of all the disappointments on this team so far, Brian Skinner has been the biggest. He's not doing anything but taking up space when on the floor. Truly discouraging after a mammoth preseason filled with jumpers, blocks and putbacks. We need that Brian Skinner.

• Fabricio Oberto: Funny-looking from a distance, rockstar lookalike from up close.

• It's amazing that Pop took Duncan out when he got his fifth foul. Pop knows as well as everyone that no ref is going to a sixth foul against Tim Duncan in a close game.

• The league is going to figure out Manu Ginobili one of these days, as if he was Barry Zito. He's flashy, but he can be stopped.

• Peja can do better on the suit. Remember, P, you're an upcoming free agent! You gotta look money, all the time.

f the Monday night Packers-Vikings game. Also, I really have no idea what to make of Simmons' shoes in said segment. Especially after seeing him rocking shell-toe Adidas in the NY Times piece.

Last Simmons item: The controversy over Renee Herlocker is stupid, and the Intern is a jerk for not giving a link to YAYsports!, even after admitting someone had already made her (semi-)famous. It shows a certain out-of-touchness.

Another sign fantasy sports are inherently evil: I've been openly rooting for Kobe to score 40 a night. Yes, that Kobe. I'm going to hell.

Nice shootout between Gonzaga and Michigan State last night. Adam Morrison is like Kyle Korver with driving ability. I turned it on near the end of regulation. Tom Izzo really takes the fun out of Hawaiian shirts, no?

Back later with an awesomely robust game preview.

"It's unlikely we're going to make a trade," Laker General Manager Mitch Kupchak said.